[LEXIE LEE] The Married Entrepreneurs Podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you market and grow your business and yourself. To hear other podcasts like Bomb Mom and Grow A Group Practice, go to www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. [RON LEE] Welcome to The Married Entrepreneurs Podcast. This is Ron Lee. [LEXIE] And I am Lexi Lee. [RON] We are professional counselors and serial entrepreneurs who are married [LEXIE] To each other. [RON] Thank you for joining us as we explore the business of life and the life of business. [LEXIE] Hey, baby. [RON] Hey, baby. What you doing, [LEXIE] I am excited about today’s topic. [RON] Ooh, I like topics. What are we talking about? [LEXIE] We’re going to talk about motivation today. [RON] I’m not really feeling a whole lot of that today. [LEXIE] Well, and isn’t that the thing in that either you’re excited about it or you’re not? If you’re not excited, maybe you need some more motivation, [RON] How to get motivated to be excited about it again. Okay. What brought this topic up for you? [LEXIE] Well, you know how over the past week or so, we’ve been plotting along and it just, you feel like at first, you’re like grooving, I’m in the groove and then all of a sudden, you’re like, am in a groove or am I in a rut? [RON] Ooh, yes, that’s a major thing because there’s not a lot of difference between grooving and rut. I just know one major thing that’s the difference between grooving and rutting. [LEXIE] Go ahead. [RON] Okay, I’ve never heard any cool songs on rutting. [LEXIE] You’ve got a point. [RON] There’s never been a cool, no jazz man ever went, “We need a rutting song.” But there’s some really great songs on grooving, getting in the groove, grooving. I would butcher that because I really don’t know the lyrics. But I know that’s out there. [LEXIE] Yes, it’s a great song. [RON] How do I avoid the rut? That’s the question. [LEXIE] Well, and really sometimes the difference is the attitude, that you can just perceive that you’re in a rut and really you just have to keep pushing forward. I mean, oh, I could go in lots of different directions on what’s the difference between a groove and a rut but really what I want to talk about is motivation. [RON] Because I could go a lot of different directions on that other thing that you mentioned of grooving and rutting and all that stuff. [LEXIE] So this past week or so we’ve just been plotting along and it just feels like drudgery because we’re in some projects on that messy middle. Like when you first start a project, you have all kinds of motivation because you can see where you want to go and, ugh, all the possibilities and tat’s like tons of motivation, like, ah, I have all this creative energy. [RON] You’re still in the fun zone. [LEXIE] It’s in the fun zone. [RON] It’s in the fun zone. [LEXIE] Then at the end you can see you’re making progress and you get that second wind because you see the progress and you’re going along. But that messy middle, you’re not really seeing progress and you’re like, “Should I quit or do I keep going?” It’s that back and forth. Or you just, you know you need to keep going, but you can’t find the motivation to do it. [RON] I’ve been there. For me, it’s like working on a website. When you first do the framework of a website, it’s fun, it’s exciting. You’re putting it together, you’re throwing it up there, but then you have to start maintenancing the website, fine tuning the website, making sure all the buttons work, this works. You’re, yes, that’s not the fun part about website [LEXIE] So I thought it could be cool that we talk about some of the things that we do when we find ourselves in that messy middle or in that dip. Seth Godin’s book, The Dip talks about it at that point where I got to keep pushing and keep going. One of the things that we really find so helpful is to watch motivation videos. [RON] I love me some motivational videos, especially in the morning when you’re not feeling it. Drop in some, I actually, I like Steve Harvey for our motivational speaker. He speaks plainly. [LEXIE] Yes. [RON] Steve does a great job. Seth Goden, he’s another great motivational speaker if you ever get to hear one of his stuff. [LEXIE] Well, one of my favorites that I really like is Zig Ziglar. He has this quote about motivation that I love, because sometimes people talk about why do you need to keep motivating yourself? Like if motivation really worked, you wouldn’t have to keep doing it. He says something about, well bathing works as well, but you have to do it daily. [RON] Let’s keep doing that. Let’s keep deodorizing. The world’s a better place. [LEXIE] So sometimes, yes, we have to keep some daily motivation going. Garbage in, garbage out. Are you putting in some things that motivate you? That’s what these videos do for us, or podcast. Hopefully this podcast is a motivation for people listening, but you have to keep putting that stuff in because it sparks something in you that says, oh, I can do that. We see ourselves in it and I can do that. It helps to push forward when you’re in that dip and messy middle. [RON] When I think of the dip in the messy metal, my brain wants to go toward the theory of compound interest in the penny that in the beginning, the compound interest of a penny seems like, why are we doing this? What’s the point?. But when you start compounding the penny daily and you get to that two-year marker, or that magic marker, there’s a magic marker when things start picking up on their own and they start having their own life and your project just starts coming alive again. But in the beginning, you’re the only one pushing your project. You’re the only one making sure that this project is getting off the ground. You’re the one doing all the work. You have to remember the compound penny, because it will eventually, the parachute will open as you’re free falling and through the dip and you’ll feel like, “Oh, I’m back in charge again.” [LEXIE] Well, and I think that there are lots of people out there who speak also about the power of habit and how if there are certain things that you just make a habit, then that helps to push through some of that resistance that pops up when you don’t feel motivated. Like I’m going to write words every day, whether I feel motivated to do that or not. So yes, motivation helps you to get in a good mindset, but there also, you have to couple that with, you have some habits to where you’re just going to do something every single day. Or like if I’m blogging, I’m going to blog every day, get up first thing in the morning, write the words. Some days it’ll be good words. Some days it’ll be bad words, but that’s not the point. The point is, I write every day and if I write every day, then that’s the habit that makes it more likely to get things out. [RON] Okay, how about this one? You can look at it like when you’re trying to work out, you can walk or run, but no matter what, you’re on the trail. So you can decide to walk the trail or you can run the trail, or you can do a mixture of both on the trail. But the thing is, every day you find a way to make it to the trail. [LEXIE] Like changing when you decide that you’re going to show up with some, a friend of ours who was like, I go to the gym every single day. How long I spend there, that’s negotiable. So setting what are negotiable and non-negotiable. So it’s non-negotiable for him that he’s going to go to the gym every single day. Some days he may just go in and go for a swim, and some days he’s there for three hours but showing up, he doesn’t make the decision whether or not to go. He makes the decision of how long to put in the effort. I’m going to show up and be in front of the computer every morning at a certain time. How much comes out of that is dependent on the day, but showing up is nonnegotiable. [RON] Now let me run this theory through. You can see if it works for a motivational. I’ll give it a shot. All right, so Benjamin Franklin, everyone should know who Benjamin Franklin is, that’s not, you really should pick up a history, but he’s on the $100 bill. No, is he? [LEXIE] Huh? [RON] Geez, we got to Google that one because I just made a huge mistake. [LEXIE] Anyway, keep going about things from Franklin. [RON] Benjamin Franklin used to get up every day and he would write down, it was called a sprint. Then this process, you just write down three things that you have to get done today. These things have to be more than just what you’re normally going to do. Well, I have to make sure I eat today. Okay, well, yes, most people don’t have an issue with being able to eat. Most of those things come from easy, they come from the easy side. But picking something that’s a little difficult, the little’s going to stretch yourself, is going to have to put some effort into it. Then picking three things, you may not get a whole bunch of stuff done, but you’re going to make sure that no matter what, by the time you lay your head down you did these three things. And I think that’s a great way to help motivate yourself, is don’t pick too much because if you put too much on your plate for a given day, it may not get eaten. It may seem like overwhelming. [LEXIE] So I think what you’re saying, which by the way, Ben Franklin is on the $100 bill, for those of you who are questioning. I Googled it. You were [RON] I thought I was right but the Homer head wasn’t sure. [LEXIE] Anyway, so I think what you’re saying is that sometimes what helps with motivation is also being willing to quit doing as much. That if you have too much on your plate that can suck the motivation out of you and that when you try to focus on just a little bit right, that helps you to keep your motivation and to keep plotting forward and maybe get those creative juices back. [RON] Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to say. Much more eloquent way of putting it. But yes, you got to plan a little bit of what you want to get done and then motivate yourself to get one or two things and then motivate yourself to get that next thing and then just keep pushing. [LEXIE] Well, and I think also having some visual representation of where I’m heading helps to, I like my vision board. [RON] Okay, also like say a dream board or a vision board? [LEXIE] Yes. So that if that is constantly somewhere where I can see it, I keep things, pictures on my phone that every time I open my phone is that visual reminder of something. I think having that also helps with the motivation because I can look and I can remind myself of what this season is that in that messy middle. That helps too, that constant reminder of what I’m shooting for, that I can see my goals. And there are all kinds of suggestions out there, like review your goals every morning. There are journals where you can start out with, okay, these are the goals. Then these are the three things that I want to accomplish today to help with that sprint that you’re talking about. But again, that constant reminder of this is what I’m working for and hearing the message of you can do this and there is nothing without effort. [RON] Got that right. Effort is mandatory. I told a kid one time that you can get through college just by showing up and putting some effort. You’ll get through school. Effort is compounding. [LEXIE] Yes. Well, and we like to say all the time, some beats none. There are days when we are sprinting all day long and there’s some days where it’s just a little sprint and we have to remind ourself that some beats none and that’s what helps it to keep pushing through when it feels like it’s a rut. [RON] Now would you say your self-talk is a big piece of your personal motivation? [LEXIE] Absolutely. [RON] Tell me how that works. [LEXIE] Okay, so I can’t beat myself up, which I fight, sometimes I’m much better at being more positive to myself than I used to be. If I find that, if I’m referring to myself as Lexie, if I’m really in a bad spot, then Lexie Suzanne is going to — [RON] Oh, you’ll know, it’s not just to Lexie, but to Suzanne. It’d be like me referring to myself as Ronald. [LEXIE] Yes, exactly. You and your mother are the only people who call you Ronald. [RON] I’ll give you that. The only other person did yes, they’re no longer with us, but yes, those are the only people that actually call me Ronald. Mainly I do it to myself because I help to remind myself that I’m flawed and hey, pick up the pace, get it together. [LEXIE] But for me it’s not motivating. I mean, it’s meant to be motivating maybe, but it’s too negative. So it actually ends up making me more stuck whereas if I have more of the attitude of that, okay, some beat’s none, I’m going to do something, I’m going to do just a small win right now. Like I can walk into a room and I can say, “Okay, I’m going to do just one small little thing that will make this room better and that gives me a little bit extra energy. I can’t do all the things, but I can do this.” Then I’m going to feel like some progress is made, that constant drip of improving. When I think like that, I get more done. [RON] That’s really where it boils down to, is changing the mindset. Understand what you’re thinking, what you’re feeding yourself, what you’re feeding your brain. Become more mindful, check yourself, check yourself as that message that you’re sending yourself. Is it going to motivate you or demotivate you? Is it wasting time? Is it creating anger? What emotion is your self-talk creating for you? [LEXIE] It reminds me of a book from years ago how Al Rod’s Miracle Morning and he talks about the seven things to do in the morning, I think it’s seven, seven — [RON] She’s counting on her fingers, folks. [LEXIE] Because it spells out savers, so I was doing savers on my fingers, that you have silence first thing in the morning. You have affirmations, you do visualizations, you have some exercise, you read something and you scribe, you journal something. [RON] Does Facebook count as reading? That looks like a hard no. [LEXIE] Well, I mean, it does count is reading. Depends on what you’re reading on Facebook, is it leaving you more positive or? Is it leaving you more negative? [RON] I’m going to go, sometimes the videos leave me actually in the more negative. [LEXIE] Right, because the idea on the reading on his savers is that you’re reading something that makes you better. That could be a good recipe to follow in the morning too, that you, even if you’re not doing all seven of those things, there’s some really good things in there. [RON] Well, I can definitely see if you’re starting your day off in a negative zone. You could actually stay there all afternoon, so you have to avoid it at all cost. You have to recognize yourself, see where you’re at, motivate yourself, get off your booty, go kill the day, slay the dragon, mount that sucker on your wall, have a dance around it, and know that you have the capabilities of doing anything that you want to. [LEXIE] Yes, yes. And just remember garbage in, garbage out, so put in some positive things and you’re going to get more positive things out. [RON] I agree. [LEXIE] I enjoyed our conversation today. [RON] Hey guys, you all have a great day after. [LEXIE] Thank you for listening. Time is our most valuable resource and we appreciate that you shared your time listening to us. If you enjoyed our show, please rate us or give us a review and you can share this episode with someone that you think may benefit. You can find more from us@marriedentrepreneurspodcast.com. [RON] This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical, or any other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.